Joan Rivers opens up about all the crazy, hilarious things

What has this outrageous comedian not done? In the new issue of In Touch Weekly, Joan Rivers opens up about all the crazy — and hilarious — things left to do on her bucket list, but most importantly one to not do.

She has a slew of items written on her bucket list, but Joan shares one thing she never plans to do. “Never retire!” Joan tells In Touch. “Everyone’s retiring: [David] Letterman, Barbara Walters. If I croak, who warns the world about Gwyneth Paltrow? I have so many years left; they even let me put a new face on layaway.”

The opinionated comic is the most famous member of E!’s Fashion Police and while she has had countless celebrities on the show already, there is still one she is dying to have on. “Victoria Beckham. I want her on the show, just so I can make her smile,” Joan tells In Touch. “I’m convinced she has no teeth.”